A Sad and Confused Nittany Lion

Yes, I am a Penn State graduate.

Yes, I was a student while Joe Paterno was the head coach, Jerry Sandusky was the defensive coordinator, Tim Curley was the Athletic Director and Mike McQueary was the quarterback.

Yes, I admired and respected these people.

Yes, I am deeply disturbed and saddened by everything that has happened. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING, but more about that later.

(Please note: The Morning Call [mcall.com] has a good timeline of events on their website that was published in today's paper that is based on the grand jury testimony for those who don't want to read the graphic nature of the full 23 page report. In preparing to write this, I chose to read the grand jury report to make sure I understood the "facts." However, I wish I hadn't had to.)

Hopefully many of you out there will try to understand the difficulty some of the PSU students and alumni are having in reconciling the school we knew with the tragic events that have occurred. It may take some of us more than the scant week we've had to come to terms with all that has happened. Please bear with us...

The number one, no holds barred person to receive my anger and disappointment is Jerry Sandusky. Up until I learned of these incidents, I admired you. Not only for your contributions to our football team and school, but also for your creation of Second Mile. Many student organizations loved volunteering for Second Mile not only because it was a good cause, but because we felt a part ownership of the organization since it was created so closely in conjunction with our beloved school. It sickens me that you used it as a hunting ground for your depraved activities. My heart goes out to those boys and young men you hurt. I pray they find peace in their lives. I also pray that Second Mile can continue to do the good work they were created to do in the wake of what you have done.

Next, my anger wants to focus on you Mike McQueary (and to a lesser extent the janitor Jim who also witnessed an attack). According to your testimony, you witnessed an actual sexual attack being committed. How could you just walk away? I've considered that you were just a graduate assistant at the time, but I can't accept that as an excuse. At 28 years old, you were a full grown man, and a large, physically fit one to boot. You could easily have knocked Jerry on his ass. Shame on you for walking away in the first place. Shame on you for not making sure people took you seriously in 2002.

Third in my sights is Tim Curley and Gary Shultz. Did you really feel that the removal of Sandusky's privileges was an adequate reaction? Why did it take so long for you to interview McQueary (a week and a half according to the grand jury report)? The boy in the 2002 incident was never identified so it appears you didn't do much investigating regarding such a serious allegation. I'm sure there are cameras all over that building considering the amount and value of equipment in it alone. Surely, you should have been able to try to identify the boy.

Oh, and Mr. Schultz, you receive an extra portion of my anger because you were in charge of the University Park Police Department, yet you never notified the department itself. If you had, maybe you would have known about the prior investigation then. You had the absolute responsibility to act on this back in 2002 and yet you did nothing.

And finally, our beloved JoePa. Here is where I become confused, or maybe conflicted is a better word.

Yes, legally you did nothing wrong. Yes, I personally believe you did something ethically wrong.

I always admired your integrity. Especially when it came to disciplining players when they broke team rules or reprimanding the student section at the games for being disrespectful. No matter how all this plays out, your image has been tarnished. You are a man, not a god, and you are bound to have made mistakes over the years. The severity of those mistakes is what we question now.

I will give you some credit for informing both your boss and the man in charge of the University Park Police immediately. However, I can't forgive you for not doing more. And I'm curious how explicit what McQueary told you was.

And I now have to question whether you really knew about the 1998 incident/investigation when soon after that you informed Sandusky that he would never take over as head coach at PSU. I'm sorry, but that just looks a bit fishy.

Now here is where my comment about EVERYTHING comes into play. I feel the media have been focusing too much on JoePa and not enough on the more serious perpetrators. Let me be clear here....I am not saying that JoePa does not deserve our anger/disappointment, just that he has become the media focal point instead of the men who have been indicted, most importantly Sandusky.

The same holds true for the actions of the Board of Trustees at Penn State. You allowed Spanier and Schultz to resign and have only placed Curley and McQueary on administrative leave, but you fired JoePa. Does that seem right to all of you? If you are going to clean house, then clean house. Don't do a half ass job. Force them all to resign, fire them all, put them all on leave until you complete your investigation, whichever you're most comfortable with, but pick one!

And now to what I believe is the most important point of all....moving forward. While, unfortunately, some students chose to riot and become a little violent, maybe we can focus on those trying to do something better.

Like tonight's candlelight vigil or the Blue Out campaign for tomorrow's game, both of which are a show of support for the victims.

Or maybe the media could run some stories on what signs of sexual abuse people can watch for so they know what to report, when to report it and whom they should call. Getting information like this out there could help countless people stop things like this from happening in the future.

There are so many other questions I have surrounding all this, many of which I'm sure will never be answered satisfactorily. And I know there will be some people who will agree with how I feel and I know there will be some people who will be angered by some of the things I have written. All I ask is that you try to respect my opinions as I am trying to respect yours.

So I will remain sad, disturbed, confused and conflicted, but I will also always remain proud to say I graduated from Penn State University. And I will continue to support and root for all the Nittany Lion sports teams, football included, because there are too many great traditions at PSU to allow them to be destroyed by these events.

Sun Screen Ratings for your little one

So we just went on a cruise with Snuggle Bug and had to use sunscreen a lot. I had gone and bought the highest spf that blocked both uva and uvb rays that I could find (Coppertone Waterbabies) since my husband and I both tend to burn easily so I assume Snuggle Bug will too.

Figures that as soon as I get home I find out about a website that rates sunscreens. I was happy to see that our sunscreen is a 3 out of 10 (the lower the better in this rating system), but it's still just inside the caution zone. I'm going to have to start looking for some of the better rated ones out there since the summer has only just begun. I've already heard from a number of fellow moms that a lot of kids have had allergic reactions to Episcentials.....maybe I'll try California Baby first.....

Here's  the website so you can all check it out.....

http://www.ewg.org/2010sunscreen/

Happy outdoor adventures with your little one!!!!

Oh...I'm sore....and wet....

So last night was my first night back at First Strides since I got pregnant. It's this great walking/running group in my area for women to help you train for a 5K. Unfortunately, I'm going to miss the 5K because of the cruise we'll be going on with my in-laws, but I'm going to try to find another one to do around the same time.

Anyway, we had our first session last night and it was raining and sleeting so I assumed we would just have the discussion and then go home. But no, we're die hards here so we need to run in the rain unless it's lightening and thundering (forgot about that). So I did it. I didn't want to wimp out. Plus it would mean I would still have to do the workout on my own later in the week and I wanted to get the first one out of the way.

I've always walked as part of the group before and I decided that this is the session where I will transition to running. It was hard, but I did it. I know it's only going to get harder, but I'm determined to stick to it. I want to RUN a 5K for the first time instead of just walking it. Plus, it should force me to keep training and it should help with my weight loss.

On the Snuggle Bug side of it, this will allow her to get used to a day care/babysitting situation. The sessions (and my additional training on my own most likely) are done at our local community center which has a babysitting service. I'm both dreading and looking forward to this. Dreading because I know she's going to hate it the first few times since she's only ever been along with my parents or in-laws without us. Looking forward to it because once she gets used to it it will be so much easier for me to work out (therefore, giving me less excuses to cop out).

First try is this Thursday.....

Mamapatrice.com giveaway - UPDATE

Sorry folks....Patrice's photography website is patricemitchellphotography.com.

Mamapatrice.com giveaway

Hey all, check out mamapatrice.com and photographybypatrice.com. Patrice is local to me here in Easton PA and I had the pleasure of meeting her last week as part of one of my mommy groups. We had a great photo session with her (check out her blog, Lily's pic is the image of the week!) and I can't wait to see the rest of the pictures she took.

A clinging girl....

....means no rest for mommy.

Well, we've become a sporadic clinger again apparently. We had a photo shoot on Thursday morning where she did well and was crawling all over exploring on her own. Then Friday another photo shoot for our Easter photos where she did well without Mommy again. She even played with the manager a bit at the Verizon store after that.

But on Saturday we went to a friend's first birthday party and would not let go. Daddy had to take her in the other room to even have her stay with him for a while so I could eat. Usually, she'll only do this for a little while (maybe 20 minutes or so) and then crawl off to explore. But no dice this time, she wanted none of that.

Anyone else having on and off clinging issues???

Welcome to Snuggle Bug Adventures!!

Hello to all the moms out there!!!

Welcome to the world of Snuggle Bug (in real terms, that would be my 8 month old daughter Lily)! I wanted to build a forum for my friends, family and whoever else wants to join in to discuss anything and everything related to our kids. This can be anything from products to education to how to accomplish something.

Here's a little background on me....I am a 32 year old WAHM (work at home mom for those who haven't seen that one before). I do accounting consulting work for the company I worked for pre-baby. My husband Scott is an actuary at a large insurance company and travels more than an hour each way to work every day (so that means I'm home by myself A LOT).

I had one miscarriage prior to having Lily and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while I was pregnant. I lost 50 pounds during my pregnancy, gained back 10 since then, but am now working toward taking off the last 75. And believe me, the weight topic will come up periodically....

While I don't exhibit the signs of post-partum depression, I do have the occasional bout of the "crazies." In fact I had one the other day. I was frustrated and angry and instead of confronting my husband earlier I let it build until I blew my top while he was at work. I know enough to put the baby somewhere safe and walk away when I need to. So after I did that, I went to another room to try to cool down. Unfortunately, in my anger, I decided that kicking something would make me feel better....bad decision. Instead of being smart and going outside and kicking a ball or something, I kicked the wall assuming nothing would happen....bad assumption. I put a hole in the drywall. Uh oh!! Now I get to learn how to patch drywall and figure out how to hopefully fix the wallpaper or take it down and paint the wall instead.

Anyway, that's the kind of thing you can expect here at Snuggle Bug Adventures....honest stories about what happens in our lives...I'm planning on posting at least every Monday, Wednesday and Friday so come back and join us at the adventure continues....